The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies & Bullying: A Complete Guide for Teachers and Parents
In April 2007, 32 students were killed during the Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University shooting. According to MSNBC news services, the student gunman was bullied and mocked by his classmates.
Forty percent of U.S. students voluntarily report being involved in bullying - as bullies or as victims - according to the results of the first national survey on this subject. Bullying is increasingly viewed as an important contributor to youth violence, including homicide and suicide. Case studies of the shooting at Columbine High School and other U.S. schools trace the multiple murders to bullying incidents.
In a survey of 558 students in a Midwestern middle school, 80 percent of the students had engaged in bullying behavior during the previous 30 days, verbally by Internet e-mail or instant messaging, such as teasing, name calling, spreading malicious rumors, ridiculing, and leaving students out of social activities deliberately and physically by damaging belongings, aggression, extortion, beating, and use of deadly force.
Given that most bullying goes unnoticed and unreported, Americans have been slow to react to behavior that is taking over our schools. Other countries deal with mean people, while in the United States, take-charge insolence, no matter how threatening, is rewarded in schools, in business, in sports, and in everyday life. Often those who stand up to a bully suffer retribution so that their only defense seems to be to turn to violence themselves.
School is a prime location for bullying, and its effects can last a lifetime. Bullying is one of the most underrated and enduring problems in schools today and is a reality in the lives of all children, whether they are bullies, victims, or witnesses.
Everyone knows who the bullies are. They pick on someone as a way to get power, or to get their way, or to feel self-important. They create an environment of fear among teachers, students, administrators, and support staff - the very people that victims look to for protection. Those people who allow bullying are the ones who need to work as a team to take action against it. Whether you are a parent, student, teacher, or school administrator, you will learn in this easy to read and comprehensive new book how to prevent and ultimately stop bullying going on around you. By doing so, you may even save lives.
First you will learn why bullying occurs and get at the root causes for it, why some children are victimized and why others are vicious, how to develop an anti-bullying policy, how students, parents, and teachers can work together to stop it before it goes too far. You will learn about cyber bullying, racist bullying, sexist bullying, phone or note bullying, gang bullying, teacher bullying, and sports bullying.
You will know how to evaluate the bullying problem in your school, develop anger management and conflict resolution skills, develop awareness of the problem, learn victim role playing and assertiveness training, develop an anonymous bullying reporting program, and how to provide better supervision of key areas of the school where bullying often occurs. You can develop anti-bullying projects, learn to stop someone from being bullied, know how to approach the parents of a bully, how to respond to the bully when you are a victim, how to make areas of the school safe, such as the hallways, the cafeteria, the stairs, and recess areas. You will learn how to LISTEN to victims, witnesses, and bullies, how to employ legal remedies and restraining orders, develop detailed procedures for investigating incidents, and punish the wrongdoer before the victim does.
All children deserve the right to go to school free of intimidation. Help make your school bully-free by the information contained in this ground breaking new book. If you are interested in learning essentially everything there is to know about stopping bullies and bullying, then this book is for you. 978-1-60138-021-0 1-60138-021-6 $24.95 CGB-02
http://www.atlantic-pub.com/cgi-local/shopper.exe?preadd=action&key=CGB-02
When I was a child, I changed four schools moving from city to city. I had never seen any bullying there, though there were lots of ‘cool’ guys. As a teacher now, I see no signs of bullying in the school I work, and I am happy with that. But I know it’s a social scourge and this book is a very nice try to look deep into the issue and try to find a way-out.
The book terrified me right from the beginning! It is written as a warning and keeps you attached to the problem! The book is full of CASE STUDIES, which provide lots of examples of how this or that case was handled, the aftermath and the lesson we all were taught. The author describes the methods parents and children can use to escape the burden of bullying. Making our children ‘bully-proof’ is very necessary and only then we can start eradicating the bullying itself. Whether it is possible or not depends on us, the adults.
My zest for the book was immense. At first, I couldn’t stop reading it, but then my only thought was to finish it as soon as I could! From chapter to chapter, I saddened more reading of neglect, indifference, and bystanders. One thought struck me most. Why so many bullied guys committed crimes, not just injuring but KILLING people?! Is it because this offence is so hard to tolerate? I guess so. Children’s spirits are weak and not all of them become stronger with age. That’s why the author thinks so much depends on teachers and parents, and I fully agree with her.
You know, I recall Forrest Gump’s story… He was an idiot, he was bullied as well… But he survived! And the reasons for that were the phrases his beloved people would say: “Run, Forrest! Run!” and “Life is not a box of chocolates…”
As a final remark, I’d like to say that this book just has to be read, even at publics meetings, to raise people’s awareness of a terrible incident/accident we all have to get rid of!
Perhaps, while you are reading this review, there’s another case of bullying is happening in the neighborhood…
Comment by Artem Chobanian — November 23, 2007 @ 3:45 am
It is time to take the blinders off and confront a problem that every school in America is struggling with. A must read for every parent and teacher, this complete guide is an eye opener. It reviews all aspects of the issue from the bullies themselves, their audience and the victim. When you are done reading this book, you will have a greater understanding of this nationwide problem.
Bullies are a fact of life in every school and I believe we would be hard pressed to find a person that did not experience bullying in one form or another; even if it was just witnessing it. As explained in more detail in this book, the consequences of bullying can be devastating and we as a society are paying the consequences; not only with school shootings and teenage suicides, but with bullies that have turned into adult criminals. Teenage bullying can also lead to workplace bullies in the future.
Witnesses to bullying behavior and bully victims suffer the consequences of the tormenter for the rest of their lives. As explained in this guide, bystanders and victims may develop self-esteem issues as they grow older. They never fully get over the effects of the bully.
When reading this book, it brought back the memories of my school days and made me understand what my kids may be going through today. Schools always preach about bringing the bullying activity out in the open, but this book explains why this is so important. It will also give you strategies to recognize if your child is suffering and explain how you can help them. Bullying has always been kept quit, it is time to shout about it through the rafters and shine a light on this problem. Share this guide with every parent and teacher; spread the word and increase everyone’s understanding.
Comment by Brye Wiskman — November 28, 2007 @ 8:13 pm
Bullying is on the rise in our nation’s schools, yet little has been published about how to deal with it. That is, until now. “The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling and Stopping Bullies & Bullying” gives parents and teachers a tool to tackle the issue. In a no-nonsense and straightforward manner, the author identifies warning signs – “red flags” – of both the bully and the bullied. Included is a section for parents on solutions, such as how to create “bully-proof” kids and “bully-busting” in your home. For school administrators, a chapter is devoted to the law regarding bullying. And for everyone who is or may be affected by bullying, this book provides template “anti-bully pledges” in an appendix, as well as safety checklists – real musts for meeting this challenge in the real world.
Comment by Tracy Powell — December 14, 2007 @ 3:59 pm
Bullying: A Serious and Dangerous Cultural Problem
As Margaret R. Kohut, author of The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies & Bullying notes; on April 6, 2007, Twenty-three-year-old Seung-Hui Cho opened fire at Virginia Tech, killing 32 students, wounding 25, and also taking his own life. An investigation of Cho’s personal history revealed that he had suffered bullying in both middle and high school for a speech defect. On October 16, 2006, a 13-year-old Missouri girl named Megan Meier committed suicide after a neighbor—the mother of a schoolmate, who posed online as a boy—harassed and bullied Meier online, after initially gaining her trust. On April 20, 2000, teenagers Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold—whom Kohut included in her book’s dedication—entered Columbine High school with assault weapons and homemade bombs. They killed 12 classmates, a teacher, and injured 18 other students before shooting and killing themselves.
Kohut opens her book by profiling two of these cases—the Columbine and Virginia Tech Massacres—as well as one additional case. She seems to suggest, without directly stating as such, that a history of being bullied contributed to the criminal behaviors of Cho, Harris, and Klebold. The suicide of Meier, as well as of Emmet Fralick, a fourteen-year-old who resided in Halifax, Nova Scotia, whom Kohut also mentions in her introduction, reveals other extreme and tragic potential results of bullying.
Kohut’s credentials and professional experiences as a Correction Officer in an Adult and Juvenile Maximum Security Correction Facility, a Courtroom Bailiff, Bounty Hunter, Forensic Counselor, Addiction Therapist, as well as time spent in private practice as a Social Worker, all support the case she makes for bullying as a serious and dangerous cultural problem. Kohut also successfully provides relevant data to support this assertion. In this book, she articulately, systematically, and logically paints a comprehensive picture of bullying. In the first section, she includes clear definitions and types of bullying behavior, “red flags” to look for, as well as the price that everyone involved with bullying pays. Next, she details accessible yet sophisticated forensic profiles of bullies and their victims. She also dispels relevant myths. In Section three, Kohut offers solutions for parents, teachers, victims, and bystanders. Educators and Educational Administrators, as well as parents, will find her chapter on creating zero tolerance for School Bullying extremely useful. Moreover, Kohut also briefly addresses legal aspects of bullying. She concludes with an appendix of tools—including various “pledges” that students, teachers, parents, schools and communities can make—which supply opportunities of applications for adults and children alike.
Comment by Angela Eward-Mangione — January 14, 2008 @ 3:57 pm
After reading Margaret Kohut’s, The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies & Bullying I feel awakened to a new wave of crime in the form of bullying. Its poignant excerpts serve as a reminder of how ignoring the danger that bully’s pose all too often bring only tragedy and death to our doorstep. Inside its pages is a detailed explanation of how bullying occurs, what to look for, and how to prevent it. Having read this book I now feel better prepared to protect my own children, as well as how to stay vigilant against bullying of others children.
Comment by Austin Bates — February 12, 2008 @ 12:04 pm
5 Stars! The Complete Guide To Understanding Controlling & Stopping Bullies & Bullying, gives a very realistic and down to earth look into the world of bullies and their victims. If you think bullying starts in school and ends there. Think again. This book gives an in depth look into what bullies are all about explaining their characteristics and why they do what they do. The world of bullies and bullying leaves behind a wake of victims. Bullying does not always start in school but at times starts in the home. This book is highly recommended for teachers, school staff, and parents. This is a very real and often times harsh world we live in.
Margaret R. Kohut is brilliant in giving her in depth revelations and case studies from various therapists. This book is not for the squeamish it makes you open your eyes to the real world of kids who are bullies and are bullied and how to recognize the signs. Victims of bullying carry this trauma through to their adulthood and so do the bullies.
Comment by Michelle Asid — February 12, 2008 @ 7:28 pm